3 Simple Ways to be a Genie
Recently I became aware of how many times people use the saying “I wish” in daily conversation, and that set me off thinking...
What exactly would it take to be a bone-fide, wish-granting Genie? But, before you think I have gone off the deep end, please know; I am fully aware that no one is about to turn into a tongue-in-cheek, spell-casting, flying-carpet-riding, magic-lamp-dwelling, blue Genie on the basis of this article. But I do want to be more than just a wish-maker. I want to be able to make wishes come true.
On the basis of some basic research conducted on how and when people use the expression “I wish,” here are three simple ways to become a genuine wish-granting Genie:
Listen More: The most common “wish” statement made during the research period was – “I wish you would just listen to me”. Without a doubt, listening is the simplest way to become a Genie. Listening is a dying art, and it doesn’t have anything to do with our ability to hear. It has everything to do with the intent with which we listen. Most people listen to reply. We formulate our answers as others speak, not actually paying attention to what they say. With our minds preoccupied with our own stories, we wait impatiently for our turn to blurt out our story.
Most people want to be understood. To be a Genie you must change your listening intent to: listen in order to understand. This is not a passive act of just sitting quietly hearing what the other person has to say, although that it a good start. To understand we must actively listen. This will include keeping quiet in order for our wish-maker to have their say. A Genie will also offer feedback to the speaker about what they have said, assuring them you have understood. We could also ask questions to clarify and piece together the information receive from the speaker. Focus on them as they talk, making an effort to keep them calm and comfortable as they relay all their information to us. Nothing validates a person’s sense of worth as much as knowing they have been heard and understood.
Behaviours to avoid as a Genie while making the “Listen Wish” come true include: Don’t act out your impatience by fidgeting, pacing or heading for the door before the speaker has come to the end of his or her speech. Get off your phone, and don’t respond to message notifications, until you are sure the conversation has run its natural course and come to an end. Be prepared to set time aside, as there is probably a lot the speaker wants to say. So, don’t be in a rush to go anywhere or to do something other than making the wish to be understood come true.
Give Presence: No, not presents. Gifts are a poor substitute for presence, as displayed by a group of wishes that ask for just that: “I wish you were here”, “I wish we could do this together”, “I wish you could go with me”.
This wish is not a request to just any old generic Genie that may be available; this wish is directed to a specific Genie. As the appointed Genie requested to supply presence, be careful about taking the wish too lightly. It is not necessarily the wish itself that will give the person joy. This wish is made on the foundation of validation – “I need you to acknowledge me / my emotions / my desire / my achievements / my effort. Correctly performed the wish-maker will experience a sense of: love, acceptance, support, recognition, sympathy, and so much more.
This wish is one where the Genie will have to have time available to spend with the wish-maker. No other wish depends so heavily on the attitude involved during the execution to be successful. You see, you could grant presence, and still disappoint the wish-maker leaving them dissatisfied with the service. A sure way to harm your Genie status is to demonstrate any kind of frustration, irritation or impatience during the wish fulfilment period. In true Genie style; remain calm and have fun, making sure the focus of attention is positive and squarely on the wish-maker.
Judge Less: The Judge-Less Wish is subtle and often incorrectly identified. Misreading this wish gets amateur Genies in trouble. Look and listen for any wish that implies: “I wish I could tell you”, “I wish I could explain this to you”, “I wish I could connect”.
Genie-Specific, this wish requires the identified Genie to leave the lamp and perform magic. This wish is born out of the fear of judgement, rejection or ridicule; for one of two reasons. First, the wish-maker may be insecure and paranoid. Secondly, the Genie may have a history of being judgemental.
In both situations, the Genie needs to focus on the wish-makers environment to successfully fulfil this wish. The Genie must make the surrounding safe, welcoming and comfortable for the wish-maker, removing all evidence of ridicule, mocking and judgement. This wish requires the Genie to cast a spell of patience and tolerance over themselves and demonstrate it in abundance. To really impress the wish-maker, follow up with a big dose of acceptance and encouragement.
The three qualities required to make it easier to be a wish-granting Genie include: a patient nature, a non-judgmental heart and the warmest of hugs. Being a good Genie requires practice and will take time to master, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
Other Articles by John Usher:
1. Which Comes First: Leadership or Purpose?