Life, Leadership and Business

Thursday, 30 July 2015

What is Mind Mutter? Part 4 - Collective Voice



A nagging teacher! A perfectionist mother! An impatient father! The image or nature of the voice in our heads can take on the personality and tone of someone we know. Sometime this voice can be our own voice, with a sterner stance.  Whatever the character that voice assumes, it is a collective voice of all the roles you play in your life.

A nagging teacher! A perfectionist mother! An impatient father! The image or nature of the voice in our heads can take on the personality and tone of someone we know. Sometime this voice can be our own voice, with a sterner stance.  Whatever the character that voice assumes, it is a collective voice of all the roles you play in your life.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

What is Mind Mutter? Part 3 Behaviour and Intent


This Three Part introduction is only a brief introduction to Mind Mutter and its role and function within our lives. In Part 1, we discovered that Mind Mutter is the "Average Enforcer" ensuring that you always live at a standard or level around your life average. In Part 2, we are introduced to the fact that Mind Mutter in a major force within us, that we cannot silence, shake or fool. We have to engage with Mind Mutter and negotiate our way forward.

What is Mind Mutter? Part 3 - Behaviour and Intent

This Three Part introduction is only a brief introduction to Mind Mutter and its role and function within our lives. In Part 1, we discovered that Mind Mutter is the "Average Enforcer" ensuring that you always live at a standard or level around your life average. In Part 2, we are introduced to the fact that Mind Mutter in a major force within us, that we cannot silence, shake or fool. We have to engage with Mind Mutter and negotiate our way forward.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Dragon and the Slayer

I wrote this book many years ago. I have made it free to download on my website.

The Dragon and the Slayer is a double book, a story and a workbook rolled into one.

I hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment.

DOWNLOAD THE BOOK FOR FREE HERE!

Thursday, 23 July 2015

5 Steps to Effective Engagement

Many changes in my life recently have forced me to evaluate where I stand. It hasn't been easy nor has it been pretty. But, I figure if I keep doing what I always did, I will continue to receive much of the same results as the past 20 years. Read the full article here!

Sunday, 19 July 2015

The Dandelion GIrl

She stood in front of the magical mirror called Providence. She marveled as the mystical glass weaved images to grant her wish. She asked Providence to show her the course of her life. Hazy images tumbled on the surface of the mirror, until the image of a budding plant became clear. The little girl stared as the plant broke ground, spread its leaves and absorbed the life giving rays from the sun. She giggled as the bud formed. She was caught in wonder as the petals opened to reveal their bright yellow color. “A dandelion!” She shrieked with excitement.

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Perspective Perspective Perspective


All of the beliefs included in this 10 part Formula for Success Series encourages people to deal with their own perspective on the world. It seems that in this world perspective is the difference between those that achieve their own desired results and those that live in a bitter place. Even Einstein based his Theory of Relativity on the principle of perspective.

This discovery made me analyse all of my beliefs differently. As I uncover my beliefs I ask the following questions: What perspective does this belief give me of the world in which I live? What can I learn from this belief and the perspective it offers? How can I alter the belief to give me a better perspective?

These questions give me an opportunity to evaluate my own attitude and perspective of my world and my surroundings. If attitude determines altitude, then beliefs are the attitude adjusters!

My most limiting attitude has to be the one directed at people. I have caught my-self remarking on people’s intelligence more than once. I work with people on a daily basis. Each day I meet new people. There are times when I do not get the results from the people I deal with, and I assign this to their stupidity. The issue with such a belief is not just limited to the bad attitude I displayed towards others, but it also affected the overall performance of my company. For me to do better I need people to perform better.

The tenth belief in our Formula For Excellence helped me adjust my attitude to-wards people in a quick swift manner. The Results of the communication is its meaning.

This statement implies that the results I achieved in my company with the people I deal with is as a result of the communication that I used. The results were because of the way I had communicated. That was a kick in the teeth. Maybe people weren't the stupid ones. Maybe I was the stupid one with poor communication skills.

Once I had turned the— result of the communication is it’s meaning—statement around in my mind a few times, I figured that if I did not like the outcome of my communication with people, then I would have to change my communication until I got the results I wanted. It is such a simple mind adjustment. Its not the "No, you don't understand what I am telling you" mind set that I used to justify my own intelligence. It is rather a "I am not communicating this correctly. Let me put it differently" kind of approach to communicating.

I hope I am communicating these beliefs of the FORMULA OF EXCELLENCE in a manner that will encourage you to consider them to be a part of your life, allowing your attitude to take you to the highest of altitudes.


Options Rock




As a consequence of examining the relevance of the previous beliefs of excellence in my own life, I realised that in each situation I encounter in the daily routine, I sought to create choice. I am creative and innovative .... Read it all here

Resources Not Hidden...



Our beliefs are what makes us, and our beliefs are what breaks us. Our internal world has such a major impact on the outward consequences. So, it was no surprise to me that amongst the most common beliefs of excellence held as true by the top performing companies is a statement that talks directly to our internal resources. Well, sort of.

The eighth belief of excellence that I would like to share with you here is : People have all the resources that they need.

"No I don't!" This was my initial reaction to this statement. I looked at my business, the cash flow, my bank statements and thought how I could use a lot more resources than I possessed at the time. I am sure everyone would like to have ac-cess to a little more resources than they have available to them. Especially newly launched entrepreneurs, struggling with cash flow in their start-ups.

I regard myself as a tea-spoon in life. I believe my function in the bigger picture is to stir people. Awaken the latent potential that is in within every person I meet. Often I prompt people about what career path they have chosen in life. More often than not, people comment on how they would like to be in a business of their own. I am quick to enquire as to why it is that they are not in a business of their own, a career of their own choosing. The number one reason people claim that they are not in their own business, without fail, is because they insist that they do not have the required resources to get them going.

This is a real limitation for many people, but often the limitation is a perceived one. When defining "resources" people often include and stop with—MONEY! I agree that money is a wonderful resource to have available in any business, but it is not the only re-sources required to initialise and operate a business.

By accepting - "People have all the resources they require" - as true, I unleashed a creative side of my own problem solving capabilities. I became innovative at utilising what I had in the best possible ways. I learned to do more than make the most of what I had. I discovered I could do my best with what was available to me. By accepting this statement as true, I consciously decided that there must be a solution to each of my problems, whether they were personal, relationship or business problems. There is a solution within my reach, I had to open my eyes, ears, and innovativeness to find it and apply it in a way that would get me the results I desired.

Just to be clear, I am not saying that by holding this belief as true, that you will become instantly rich! No! The real power of accepting—people have all the resources that they require—as true, is the instant removal of all excuses, reasons and obstacles that could prevent me from reaching my fullest potential. When I decide that no obstacle will pre-vent me from reaching my goals, it is as if God removes the scales from my eyes that pre-vented me from seeing the solution. This is a truth as old as the hills themselves—there is a solution to every problem. I just have to find and apply it.

Always Communicating


My mother has the gift of the gab. She always has an answer regardless of the situation. Sometimes these are funny chirps, but most often they are comments with a bit of zing in them. Yet strangely, it is when she remains silent in a situation that she communicated the loudest of all.
The seventh statement in our beliefs of excellence series is: You cannot not communicate! Yes, I know! It has a double negative in the sentence. But for a moment imagine my 4 foot 8 inch tall Scottish mother, hand on hip, evil angry glint in her look, silent. Is she saying anything? No! Is she communicating? Oh yes!

I am a firm believer that effective communication is the backbone of every successful functioning organisation, of every team, of every family and of our personal achievement of goals and dreams. Studies show that more than 50% of divorces occur due to poor communication. A management survey revealed that more than 60% of all management problems have their root in poor communication. We have more teens dying in violent acts due to a lack of communication than teens dying from disease. If communication is so fundamental not only to our success, but to our existence, why are we not naturally more proficient in communication?
There are many factors that lead to our poor communication skills. One of which is the perception we have that we are good communicators. Have you ever said—"I told him exactly what to do, how to do it and when to do it. There is no way he could misunderstand"? We have this concept of our selves that we are great communicators. As message senders, we assume we say what we mean. Yet, when it is left up to others to interpret what we mean, we almost always suffer the consequences.
To add to this preconceived communications skill is the fact that we often use words that have one meaning, and one meaning only. This creates the situation in which we assume that the other person understands correctly, when in reality they do not. Many of the words in our language have multiple meanings. In fact, 500 of the most commonly used words in the English language have more than 14 000 dictionary definitions. So, assuming that the other person is on the same wave-length as you can result in being hazardous to your communication health.

Then there is the—SAY NOTHING—Stance. Understanding that you cannot not communicate will help you understand that every act, every behaviour is a communication of some sort. My mother is aware of this fact, and uses her "no-speaking-heavy-message-look" to great affect. People get a message from us, whether we intentionally communicated that message or not. Understanding verbal and non verbal cues that we ourselves use, give us greater influence in getting the kind of results that we desire from our communication. The responsibility is yours.



 

Mind and Body United




Mind And Body United


The greatest companies of our time have one thing in common, as discovered by researchers—a set of common beliefs of excellence. We all have beliefs, at to some degree or another our beliefs either limit or potential or unlock our greatness. It seems that these common beliefs bring success to those that are taught them and apply them in their business dealing. Are these magical statements or chants with mystical powers. No, not at all. They are beliefs, that if held as true, change the holders view of the world, making people better learners, patient, inquisitive and curious. All of these are the underlying traits of great business.

In a series of articles I have discussed 5 of these beliefs. With there being a total 10 beliefs of excellence, I continue the series here with the belief statement: Mind and Body are part of the Same System.

This may seem as if I am stating the obvious here, however, very few people understand the concept. I cannot separate my mind from the reactions it causes in my body, nor can I change the effect my body has on my mind. It is quite simple—what affects us physically affects us emotionally and vice versa. Have you ever seen the body posture of someone that is excited? Naturally, they smile, their eyes are wide open, their chin is up, and energy abounds. Could you ever associate this type of body language with someone that is down trodden and depressed? No, of course not. Someone that is feeling down trodden and depressed will demonstrate behaviour that is common with that type of thinking.

Have you ever been worried about something? Where you aware of what that worry did to your body? Did you notice some muscle tension? Do you get headaches when you stress? Does your skin react adversely to adversity? Do you suffer weight loss when you feel anxiety? All these are emotional symptoms having a direct result on our physical bodies. What about the other way around? Have you ever had a toothache but where still able to fully enjoy a Friday night out? I doubt it. Do you recall the last time you had serious pain? The chances are that you walked around (or lay down) feeling sorry for your-self, fed up and a little depressed.

Our internal system, i.e.: our perceptions, emotions and thoughts—cause and simultaneous reaction in our body. When we interact with someone else, and we perceive their external reactions—our subconscious mind picks up he signals, and helps us understand their internal communications to make sense of the world. A side effect of our cyber world of emailing and texting has caused people to lose their ability to correctly decipher the signals others send out when we are communicating face to face.

By learning to control either one you automatically learn TO CONTROL THE OTHER. This control will also allow you to perceive and better understand the full—internal and external—representations that other people will provide during their communication with you. This control also allows you to better choose the ideal response for the situation—whether it be an emotional response or a physical response. Instead of just being a reactionary to outside stimulation you assume pro-active responses to those stimuli. This control returns the power and responsibility of reaching our ultimate goal to us personally.

Judged by Action and Not by Intention



Each belief you hold either empowers you to reach greatness or it inhibits you. Each leader within the best companies in the world has chosen to hold true the beliefs of excellence, and reaped the rewards. Their testimony is, hold the 10 beliefs of excellence as true and you too will embrace your potential. There is however, no belief that evokes such an emotional reaction as the one we discuss here: BEHIND EVERY ACTION IS A POSITIVE INTENTION.

Without fail, resistance is the initial reaction to this statement. People are so programmed to judge and condemn others purely on the basis of their actions, that very few people are willing to reserve the judgement until they have discovered the intention behind the action.

What makes this so ironic, is that when people make a mistake, or do something to hurt or offend someone else, you will often hear—"I am sorry, that wasn't what I meant! That wasn't my intention!" People will quickly judge another's actions. Yet, when they are at fault, they call the jury to judge not just the action, but they want the jury to be patient, hear and evaluate the intention too.

By accepting this statement as true, you cause a delay in judgement, and await the hearing of the all important intention. Does this mean that we should justify all bad actions on the basis of intention? Not at all. I am not approving bad behaviour! I am enquiring what drove someone to do the bad behaviour. No one intentionally acts in a manner that it will be a "lose-lose" outcome for themselves. Even suicide bombers overcome their fear of pain and death for the promise of the great rewards in the hereafter.

I am not asking you to track down every terrorist in the world to uncover the intention behind their rotten actions. What I am asking you to do, is that when a friend or a colleague, does something to offend you, that you take some time to discover the intentions behind their actions. When you hold this statement as true, you become a little less sensitive about what is said, about what is done. You become a little less sensitive about criticism. You develop a thinker skin (yes, a thinker skin—think about being thick skinned or not!). You become a little more patient. But most of all, you start to open the channels of communication.

When I am less sensitive, when I am less defensive, I open the channel of communication to those around me. I become a learner. A learner that is clear about the intentions that drive actions. I become a learner of the intentions that drive criticism. Surely this is a good mind set to have? Surely this will afford me the opportunities to grow emotionally and spiritually? When I look at some thing that someone has done, and I ask "What was your intention by doing this?" I open the doors to a whole, previously unseen world of understanding.


The Best Choice is...









The Best Choice is....


Have you ever heard the joke that details how a foreman puts a spade and fork against the wall of a garden and then tells the labourer—Take your pick! What a dilemma... 


It's when we have travelled down the road of our choosing a little way, that other choices—better choices—become available to us! However, as the labourer did, we make the best choice available to us in the moment, at the time.

"What were you thinking?" Famous and persistent question when our decisions have taken us into calamity. Hey, lighten up! Give yourself that break!

In dealing with the thinking patterns that bring success for the bigger 500 companies in the world, the fourth belief that fosters excellence is the basis for a little self forgiveness: We always make the best choice available to us at the time.

We each have various sources of experience to draw from when making choices or decisions for our lives or in our businesses. We use this experience and integrate it with information we receive from our values and education to form our decisions. No matter how our success is rated by others, we tend to make the best choice available to us at that point and in that moment. Until we are aware of new options, we will continue to make the best choice from the list of available options.

By taking this belief to be true, people create the space they need to make their own decisions based on choices available to them. This will often require us to "bite our tongue" when we see people do something we deem as wrong or making a bad choice. It will also give us permission to forgive ourselves when we make a bad or detrimental decision. If I am aware that I made the best choice available to me at the time of making the decision, I can let go of the guilt and get on with living and making new choices.

There is a story of a young bank manager appointed to fill the shoes of a
distinguished leader and a notable banker who had decided to retire. Hoping to get insight into the outgoing manager's wisdom, the new man asked how had he been able to build such a remarkable bank and develop such a prestigious reputation. "From making good decisions." The old man winked. The new appointment thought about the comment for a while, and then asked how did one learn to make good decisions. "By making lots of bad ones!" laughed the old gent.

Making bad decisions is not the end of the road, or of your life, it is simply a "bad decision." You can correct bad decisions with better choices once they become available to you. It is not necessary to build monuments to our failures, but it is necessary to correct our mistakes by seeking more options.


So, I think it’s time you let go of those past mistakes and current hang-ups and just say "Well, in the moment, I made the best decision available to me at that time!" Let it go and move on. Learn from your mistakes and possible develop a creative side that is diligent at seeking some alternatives that will have better results!


 

There is no failure...



There is no Failure...

Thinking that we are failures is the most common thread amongst us as humans. It’s not when we don’t learn from our failure, but rather, we make it an identity that we base our character on—that we as humans become true failures. This is not the way

As shared in part one—A survey of the Top 500 companies in the world revealed that they share a common denominator. All 500 companies hold the same, or at least very similar, beliefs of excellence. Furthermore, they are convinced that by applying this formula, any person or business will be able to duplicate their excellence.

The first couple of these beliefs was: THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY and PEOPLE WORK PERFECTLY. The third belief is: THERE IS NO FAILURE—ONLY FEEDBACK!

If you swing and miss the golf ball completely - you have not failed - you have simply experienced what it is like to miss a golf ball. As this skill hitting a golf ball correctly, requires practice and sensitivity, failure does not come into the equation. Most skills and behaviours require a certain amount of practice before we can claim that we have perfected it, and we give ourselves permission to fail while "rehearsing" in order to develop the required techniques. So-called "failure" is the only way to excellence.

Failure is part of the process of perfecting the skills and behaviours we desire. This ties in well with the previous belief, and gives us permission to make mistakes. By making a mistake, I do not become a failure. I do not assume the identity of being a failure be-cause I made a mistake. I simply made a mistake. I have the freedom and the right to make a new choice, or to continue practising or to do what ever it will take to make a success. With each new adventure in life, with every new skill I must learn, with each opportunity presented to me, comes the real possibility I might not be successful.

Thomas Edison (It's a cliché, I know) made numerous bulbs before one produced light. Einstein failed a specific maths level at school. Michael Jordan was kicked off his school basketball team. Walt Disney was sent to the principals office because he insisted on "drawing silly faces on all the pictures of flowers". Each one of these people suffered set-backs that they had to overcome.

Thank goodness that they did not give up, defeated by their failures. Thank goodness that they learned from their mishaps, and turned them into success. Failure is part of the very nature of experiments. Moreover, the reality that each new experiment designed and initiated could fail is a large part of the scientists thinking. This does not prevent him from doing his work. The story is told how Ghandi asked himself two questions each day. The first, what did I learn today? The second: How can I improve because of what I learned? Instead of giving up, ask questions concerning the mistake or failure. Ask ―What did I learn from this? ―What can I do to make it better?Learn from it and grow.

 

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Pop Up and Bash


I sometimes feel life is like one of those "pop-up-and-bash" games at the arcade hall in malls and at holiday resorts. You know the one, ten holes. A mole doll pops out of a random hole and you whack it on the head before it disappears, only for it to reappear from another hole.  

Sunday, 12 July 2015

What is Mind Mutter? Part 2 – The Force Within


What is Mind Mutter? Part 2 – The Force Within

Condescending, encouraging, rebuking and challenging! The relentless muttering of our internal voice is ceaseless and extremely effective! You cannot out shout Mind Mutter! You cannot kill it with affirmations. It won’t reduce because you ignore it. Mind Mutter is the driver of the force that is within you, and is unwilling to let go of that steering wheel. It is time to stop ignoring it or running from it. It is time to embrace your only true motivator. It is a fact that mind mutter matters most in effective and efficient self-development.

What is Mind Mutter? Part 1 - The Average Enforcer

The Average Enforcer

When introducing the wonders of Mind Mutter, what it is and how it works, it is beneficial to look at the effects it has on people like us. This article will take a brief look at how Mind Mutter affects peoples thinking, their achievements, their successes and failures.

Have you ever wondered why people at the top of their game somehow fail - spectacularly? Think of people in sports, and how at the pinnacle of their career, they make a blunder that destroys their reputation. A top marathon runner, a shy person that shuns media attention, causes such a media spectacle in a top class race, then drops from the "scene" completely, never to be heard from again. How does this happen to world class athletes?

Friday, 10 July 2015

The Map is not the territory




The Map is Not the Territory
Dishes, Dances, Business and even bombs! These days you can find a formula or recipe for just about everything on the internet. I have found one that I particularly like: A survey of the "bigger" 500 companies in the world revealed that they share a common denominator. They share a set of statements, or beliefs, that each of them holds as true. It seems that these beliefs are fundamental in defining the mind set of the employees of the companies, that lead these companies to excellence. It seems that this formula is one to generate success.

 All 500 companies hold the same, or at least very similar, beliefs of excellence. Furthermore, they are convinced that by applying this formula, any person or business will be able to duplicate their excellence. Who am I to argue?

 So, maybe by sharing these beliefs, I can improve the world? Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that there are at least 10 of these common beliefs of excellence that I would like to share with you.

 The first of these is : THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY

 On the face of it, this may seem like a little— "stating-the-obvious!" However, this statement has great value. Have you ever looked at a map of the inner streets of a big city, and thought "okay, this is easy!", then driving on those streets, and had to avoid pigeons, people, taxi’s monuments and more!

 Yup! The map and the territory it represents is very different. Words and the objects they describe are not the same either, and nor are pictures and the objects that they represent. There is a difference.

 I have seen people live their life according to their own rules, as if they had an internal map of the world—and then expected everyone else to conform to the map! A one-rule-fits-all mentality that says to the world -"I have got you figured out! And if you don’t fit to my map, well, then just maybe you don’t exist!"

 If I was to hold the statement—The Map Is Not The Territory — as true, I would imagine some changes in my way of thinking and in my approach to other people and different situations. This statement as a belief makes me want to say "hey, maybe I don’t know everything! Maybe I could learn something from this situation or from this interaction!" The possibility that my "map" of the situation is a representation that is skewered by my own beliefs, by my own "take" on things. Maybe by asking more questions, being sure that my internal reference matches the external territory, before I make a move, before I make a comment. What will this cost? A little time and a little patience to verify that my map is accurate.

 The Map is Not The Territory is the kind of statement that makes me want to be an eternal student, learning from the lectures of life, and adapting to this new information. I mean, if a GPS has to "re-calculate" every time you miss a turn, shouldn't we re-calculate our outlook on life with all it’s rapid changes? Shouldn’t we take time to align our internal map of the world to the real world it represents?

People work Perfectly


No one wants to look at the mess in their lives, thinking: this mess is as a result of what I think and believe!

 That just demoralizes people completely. Sadly, the statement is true. So maybe, investing some time and effort (that’s all it will cost) in success-bringing beliefs is required.

 As shared in part one—A survey of the Top 500 companies in the world revealed that they share a common denominator. All 500 companies hold the same, or at least very similar, beliefs of excellence. Furthermore, they are convinced that by applying this formula, any person or business will be able to duplicate their excellence.

The first of these beliefs was: THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY. The second is : PEOPLE WORK PERFECTLY

 As goal achieving, purposeful systems, people are remarkably effective. We are born fearless and without opinion. We learn every behaviour, fear and habit. We have learned how to respond in certain situations. All these behaviours and responses function with flawless perfection. When we do the same thing repeatedly, we tend to get the same results.

It is as if we function like computers. Our brains are the hardware. What we fill our minds with would be the equal to the software of a computer. Our education, upbringing and experiences load our computers with programs. When we push the correct buttons, the programs start working. There are no glitches or system crashes in our computers. The programs with which we load our computers work perfectly. THUS - The system works – perfectly. If negative intentions get into our personal program, they work effectively. Constant and specific thoughts, beliefs and feelings will constantly produce specific results. If you continue to use the same feelings, thoughts and beliefs, you will continue to achieve the same results.

All be it viewed as a negative behaviour, the ability we have to sulk requires excellent skill. If you can sulk for long periods, then the skills operate in us without fault. The behaviour or skills used might be detrimental to our personal or financial growth, but they work perfectly. Someone fainting at the sight of blood may not seem to be beneficial to onlookers, but it aids the individual to avoid getting involved in a potentially traumatic experience. The person may have had a bad experience in a traumatic experience that involved blood, and has developed a defence mechanism to assist them in avoiding future experiences. Therefore, in fact, the person and the system that they have chosen (even if it was subconsciously) works perfectly.

If we load a computer with only software to produce a spread sheet – it is all that the computer will do. We can demand that it edits your home movies; you can slap the screen in order to play games, but until you load the relevant programs, the computer will only produce spread sheets. You may not be satisfied with the results of the system, but the computer and its software works perfectly.



If we would like to achieve different results to those we have had in the past – we need to do some-thing different – such as – load different software! As a human, this would mean that you would have to take hold of some beliefs and some skills to bring about the change you want. Exercise this belief and skills until the system works perfectly.
No one wants to look at the mess in their lives, thinking: this mess is as a result of ... Read the rest here!